"How much harder can it be to leave your your own home. I desperately wants to end this vicious cycle of thinking and then not committing it. I want to leave please help me."
How about killing myself, no that`s too immature. Let's be productive and do something that helps in a greater good. How? Let me tell you some truth about myself. I am highly reactive over imaginative and super voilent person. I have a short temper but because i am also an introvert it doesn't works always. What next i am going to do, if it goes down in ruins. I believe i never came out from my comfort zone neither of my home. Which in turn only crippled my self-esteem and other local deemed factors. I also want to live to study and be obsessive towards it. But i have my limits, certain untold unexplained limits which will always come in my way no matter what the hell am i doing. I want to see the world but this world doesn't wants me anymore. So how do we settle our score. ????
Let me tell you a recent incident. I contacted a girl and eventually we developed a connection some sort of swing. There is a horrible thing here, I am a typical low self-esteem guy which means i brag and i only tell lies to people no matter how unimportant the lies are. I told her everything. Every connection that was there she thought is because of the lies. She felt cheated. Of course who would not. She at least didn't left me completely. Which means even worse, i have to face her and remember the pain she have gone through everytime. Which is fine, because her friendship will even be worth more than 15 friends that i have made in whole of my school live.
I am the one. Why 'the' ? It's a secret
I am the one who promised his father a day in 11th that he would not do anything that other's do for their entertainment and believe me when i say anything and everything it means it literally. So i had to go for my own versions of things. Internet and my imagination came in handy here. They helped me become a more productive and skilled person but did't did much about my core problems. Beneath all of this there lied the burden of failing in academics. And please try and believe me i am mentally well and i can solve biggest math problems just by having a discrete glance. It was always something else which i solely believe i am not going to find.
Please don't comment unless u know something or u have something to share.
A traitor
Amit Kumar.
(Even my name have faulted here for a while)
How about killing myself, no that`s too immature. Let's be productive and do something that helps in a greater good. How? Let me tell you some truth about myself. I am highly reactive over imaginative and super voilent person. I have a short temper but because i am also an introvert it doesn't works always. What next i am going to do, if it goes down in ruins. I believe i never came out from my comfort zone neither of my home. Which in turn only crippled my self-esteem and other local deemed factors. I also want to live to study and be obsessive towards it. But i have my limits, certain untold unexplained limits which will always come in my way no matter what the hell am i doing. I want to see the world but this world doesn't wants me anymore. So how do we settle our score. ????
Let me tell you a recent incident. I contacted a girl and eventually we developed a connection some sort of swing. There is a horrible thing here, I am a typical low self-esteem guy which means i brag and i only tell lies to people no matter how unimportant the lies are. I told her everything. Every connection that was there she thought is because of the lies. She felt cheated. Of course who would not. She at least didn't left me completely. Which means even worse, i have to face her and remember the pain she have gone through everytime. Which is fine, because her friendship will even be worth more than 15 friends that i have made in whole of my school live.
I am the one. Why 'the' ? It's a secret
I am the one who promised his father a day in 11th that he would not do anything that other's do for their entertainment and believe me when i say anything and everything it means it literally. So i had to go for my own versions of things. Internet and my imagination came in handy here. They helped me become a more productive and skilled person but did't did much about my core problems. Beneath all of this there lied the burden of failing in academics. And please try and believe me i am mentally well and i can solve biggest math problems just by having a discrete glance. It was always something else which i solely believe i am not going to find.
Please don't comment unless u know something or u have something to share.
A traitor
Amit Kumar.
(Even my name have faulted here for a while)
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